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I should be immune to embarrassment by now.

My parents really have a knack for embarrassing me in front of their friends. Or maybe it's that I have a knack for embarrassing myself in front of my parent's friends. Whatever the reason and whoever possesses all the knackage, I do get into many embarrassing situations that involve friends of my parents.

You know those times. When you think you're home alone or when you think that your family is home alone. And you do things that you would ONLY do in front of your family. Like running downstairs in your pajamas or walking out of the shower in just a towel, or shouting about something at the top of your lungs..... just to find out that there is some unexpected guest sitting in the living room.

That sort of thing happens to me all the time, probably because my parents are constantly having meetings or fundraisers, or political events with our home as the headquarters. During busy seasons (like my father's political campaign last year), our house becomes a sort of second home for all of the people involved. I can't tell you how many times I've come downstairs into the living room early in the morning or late at night to find some random person doing some sort of job for my parents.

Today, I was awoken by the ringing of the telephone. In a NyQuil-induced stupor, I was unable to move, much less get out of bed to answer the phone. I stayed motionless in bed while the phone emitted an extremely irritating rendition of "Ode to Joy" for the next five or ten minutes.

After about fifteen minutes, I finally was able to crawl out of bed and walk groggily downstairs into the kitchen. Nobody was home. I checked the clock. What the hell, I thought. It's twelve fifteen. I've been asleep for like eleven hours. I slumped back upstairs to my sister's room to get the portable phone. I checked the caller ID to see who's calling it was that woke me up. It was my mother's. I dialed my mom's phone number and waited. My sister picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Max. It's Ana. What do you want?"

"You guys..... like..... called me....." I said, slurring my words.

"Yeah. Uh.... Beth Soandso is coming over and you need to let her in the house."

"What? I just woke up! I look so gross!"

"Yeah! Uh-huh! Okie!" Click. My sister hung up on me.

I tried repeatedly to call my mother back, but it just rang and rang over and over again until it went to voice mail. On about the seventy-millionth try, my sister picked up again.

"Hello?" she said, dragging her voice in a bored tone.

"Uhhuh. Hi. I am not going to answer the door for Beth because I just woke up and—" Click. Once again, my sister had hung up on me.

Frustrated, I called back my mother's phone. This time, finally, my mother picked up.

"Helllooo-ooo!" My mother said in a cheery voice.

"Yeah. I'm not going to open the door for Beth. I look disgusting. I'm not feeling well. I just woke up. I'm not going to open the door for her."

"Okay," my mother said, her tone now flat and moody. "We'll be right home."

I went to the sink and started washing my face. There was a knock at the door. My hands and face still covered in face wash, I ran to the top of the steps and shouted. "The door is open!" I waited a few seconds and the knocking started again.

I dashed to the sink, tried furiously to get the rest of the face wash off of my face and frantically searched for a robe. I found one and ran downstairs. Before I opened the door, I looked in the mirror and arranged my hair so I didn't look so much like a zombie from Dawn of The Dead. I opened the door.

Beth walked inside. "Are your parents here?"

"Um.... no," I said, swaying on the spot, my voice scratchy.

She looked at me incredulously. "Hmm. Are you sure?"

She shouted out "Hellooo?" to check and, getting no response, she turned back to me. "Your father told me to come over because he wants me to deliver something."

"Oh.... well, he's not here..... Um... but they said they'd be back soon. I just called them."

Beth looked at me kind of funny and said, "Just tell your father to call me." She left and I shut the door.

I turned around and brought my pajama-wearing, droopy-eyed, zombie self back upstairs.

March 18, 2006 at 05:35 PM

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