« Previous | Main | Next »

Home Alone V

This weekend, my parents decided to leave my sister and I at home while they went to Pennsylvania for some meeting my mother needed to attend. I never really thought we were one of those families. You know, the kind that has kids that are so completely emotionally detached and irritatingly reserved that they're able to stay home alone while their parents go away for a few days. We are totally not that family. Still, I guess it had to happen some time. I mean, even we became latch-key kids.

I was up for it, mostly. I thought that if my sister could handle it, I could. I've always wanted to see what it was like to live alone and take care of myself. It'd be like having my own little apartment! So. My parents left Sunday afternoon leaving my sister and I behind.

The original plan was that we were going to stay home and if we got scared, we'd go over to our neighbor, Cecilia's house. That didn't really work out too well. When Cecilia came over to talk with my sister, I came downstairs right when Cecilia was telling my sister a scary story. I told Cecilia not to tell us scary stories since we'd be staying home alone that night. Cecilia, not really taking my gets-the-crap-freaked-out-of-him-by-anything personality seriously. She started telling me a supposedly true story about this creepy guy who's been hanging around our neighborhood.

Just a little background about this freaky guy. One morning, my mother opened the front door to see said freaky-guy writhing around on our porch. Uhuh, yeah, weird. It SO gets worse. A few days later, my friend was telling us how the same guy (we think) walked right into his house in the middle of the night. My friend's aunt was awoken by the guy TICKLING HER TOES. See? This stuff is FREAKY! So whatever Cecilia said, there wasn't much doubt that it could be true.

Cecilia said that Freaky-Guy walked into her house during the day. He asked Cecilia's mother if there were any juniors in the house. Cecilia's mother informed Freaky-Guy that she did not have any juniors in the house, but she did have a daughter who was a freshman. Then the guy said, "No, I only want juniors. Junior boys." This is when I really started to freak out. Yes, yes, when I look back on it, it doesn't seem like a very believable story, but consider that 1) I'm freakishly nervous, 2) I'm freakishly gullible, and 3) it was already dark outside and it was really freaking me out!

I asked Cecilia if she was telling the truth. She said, "Yes! I swear to [f-word]ing God!" I scolded her for using those two words in the same sentence and told her not to swear unless she was absolutely telling the truth. I'm not very religious, but those kinds of things make me nervous. She then told me that she was kidding. By then I was too scared for it to matter, though. We were SO not sleeping in our own house that night.

I had my sister and Cecilia accompany me everywhere in the house while I brushed my teeth, washed my face, got changed into my pajamas, etc. I was very jumpy and I screamed a few times. See how nervous I am? I'M NERVOUS!

Anyway, I went back to Cecilia's house to sleep on the floor next to a bed full of teenage girls who use the "F" word waaaaaaay to much. Pretty much before every adjective. It was kind of annoying.

The next morning, my sister and I woke up at like 5:20. That was fun. I really like waking up early.

So. That was the first day. Let's call that Panic Attack #1. Monday will be called Panic Attack #2. When I got back from school on Panic Attack #2, I was planning on cleaning the entire downstairs of the house. It needed to be cleaned and my mother said she'd buy me a DVD if I cleaned it. I made up the offer since there are a few good DVDs coming out these next two weeks. ANYWAY. My sister had a track practice, so this meant she would be out until like five thirty. When she got back, we started cleaning, but by that time, it was already dark out. Let's call night time, Time-For-Max-To-FREAK-OUT time.

Since it was Time-For-Max-To-FREAK-OUT time on Panic Attack #2, you can tell what's coming. It was my job to clean out the pantry. So. Our pantry is a total mess. And when I say mess, I don't just mean that there are cans and pasta boxes everywhere. Oh, no, not just that. There are baskets and bowls and tins full of CRAP that's been stuffed in them over YEARS. The giant piles of crap consisted of pamphlets for state parks, wires to God-knows-what, pieces of metal and screws belonging to God-knows-what.

Speaking of God-knows-whatses, there were also several religious pamphlets, cards, jewels, and pins stuffed away in the pantry. My family isn't that religious, as I've already said. There's this guy that we know, though, (he's kind of..... "woo-hoo!") and he sends us lots of these cards and pamphlets all the time. These things were especially hard for me to throw out. I mean, we don't use them, so they are producing clutter..... but is it sac religious to just toss this stuff in the trash? If I do, will I be condemned to an eternity of fiery torment? Maybe I should just donate the stuff to people who really want it.

The whole process of taking everything off the shelf, wiping the shelf, and then putting all the useful things back on took probably a good two hours or more. I totally lost my stuff several times and started shouting at tin cans because they were designed so they didn't stack on top of each other. I think I called them retarded. I'm sorry, tin cans! It's not your fault!

That night, my sister and I managed to sleep in our own house. That is, with me on the futon next to her bed, two flashlights and a phone next to me, the bedroom door closed, and every single light in the entire house on. We did it, though! Woo! I really missed having someone home to help us and take care of us and make sure we don't have nervous breakdowns.

October 5, 2004 at 03:38 PM

Comments